October Baseball
Oct 3rd, 2008 by alexfaye

It may be fall after all. The recent crushing heat wave seems to have passed, and we’re left with a little chill in the air, big brown garden spiders constructing monster webs everywhere, post-season baseball, and early stages of teacher exhaustion. I feel it in my body. Exhaustion! Already! It takes so much OOMPH to get the school year underway…seems like everyone has been pedaling like mad — and things seem to be rolling along now. Our first progress reports are due. It’s football season. We’re halfway through Girls Golf (thank goodness! These 12-hour days are getting to me.) I can feel my arthritis; I can feel my growing fat layer. I don’t feel as springy as I did 30 days ago.

I am half-watching/listening to the Boston Red Sox handle the Angels in Game Two of the Division Series. I REALLY miss my dad when I watch baseball, so sometimes it makes me sad to watch…and then the camera panned the crowd, and there was a eight-year old girl with her arm slung around her mother’s neck in such a casual, possessive way, and I got all teary eyed. I miss my mother; I miss being a daughter to my father, and I miss my daughter. When she was a girl, she was crazy about me. I miss that strong loving bond my daughter and I once shared. Sure, she loves me, I know, but it’s an intellectual knowledge. She’s distant — physically and emotionally — and I just don’t feel that gut feeling very often any more. We’re livin’ on the equity we built up 1988-2003. My young friends promise that she’ll be back one day, but that day hasn’t arrived yet so I’m living in a wasteland of text messages and voice mail.

My colleagues and students like me (mostly), and my friends love me, but the only living creature who lights up when I’m around is Bonnie, my dog. Thank god for my hairiest, stinkiest friend.

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