Such a challenging moment. I think it is right and appropriate to be grieving right now, but in our upbeat culture, we’re pushing forward with that great determined American spirit. And of course, we must push forward. As teachers, people are relying on us.

Nonetheless, I find myself swimming in deep, choppy waters.  I recently read a piece by Richard Rohr about the Dark Emotions.  Despite the whiff of condescension in this comment, it resonated:  

While those who are frightened by the primal energy of dark emotions try to avoid them, becoming more and more cut off from the world at large, those who are willing to wrestle with angels break out of their isolation by dirtying their hands with the emotions that rattle them most.

I am rattled.

I am worried for a friend.  And beyond that, I am afraid of two things:  the trajectory of the virus, and the shortage of medical care for the wave that is directly in front of us.  And the real possibility that Donald Trump has a good and legitimate reason to suspend November elections.  (Did you know that his approval numbers are up? Because he stands up and lies on TV every day?)  Many states have a mail-in voting system, but not all 50 states.  And there is inadequate money in this new bill to make the election safe from COVID19.  Why aren’t people freaking out about this?

In another sense, I am completely fine.  I’ve been walking, practicing yoga, cooking, baking, cleaning, and packing a few things up.  I have writing to work on, and my creative projects are whispering to me from backstage.